Kangaroo Jerky

10 jerky packs $19

eBay item 2079203414 (Ends Dec-11-02 15:09:45 PST ) - 5 OZ. of Real Breast Milk

"My baby is a hardy and healthy two months old. I produce alot more milk than he actually uses. A friend suggested selling my excess milk, and since all sorts of wierd stuff is sold on EBAY, I thought I'd give it a try."

Postal 2 Interview

"How has it been working with Gary Coleman? What does he add to the game? Did you have to fill out any forms to give him a gun?

Vince Desi: Gary is a great guy and a helluva lot of fun to hang out with. In the game, one of the errands the Dude has to accomplish is to get Gary's autograph...so you can imagine how easy or difficult that can be, that's what I love about Postal 2, there are no preset ways of doing things.

Smallpox: Answers to your 10 most-asked questions

"Routine vaccination against smallpox ended in 1972. The level of immunity, if any, among persons who were vaccinated before 1972 is uncertain; therefore, these persons are assumed to be susceptible.

- Then why the fuck were we vaccinated in the first place? "Get vaccinated - your level of immunity will be uncertain." "I'll take 2 shots doctor!"

Bush and his cronies are SO sure that smallpox is going to be used (as opposed to 80 other biological warfare methods) that it makes you wonder if Dubya himself is making smallpox brownies with his kiddie Chem Set. All I have to say is "Bush - what country did the Anthrax come from? HUH?!"

Two killed as SUV crashes into crowd

A man lost control of his sport utility vehicle and careened into a large group of revelers at a community holiday celebration, killing two and injuring 17, police said.

After the crash, the driver was pulled from his Jeep by furious onlookers and beaten, police said.

- "What? He caused an accident? I was beating him simply cause he drives a SUV!"

"Seeking young, well-built men aged 18 to 30 to slaughter."

Sometimes the world needs these reminders that people this strange are among us....

"He says his lawn decor is working like a traffic signal"

If you learn anything from this, don't mess with a redneck and his dogs...

The "hefty" axeman...

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Threatens To Kill Airline Passenger - Dec. 9, 2002 YNGWIE MALMSTEEN threatened to kill a fellow passenger on a flight to Tokyo, Japan after the woman poured a glassful of water on the guitarist. The passenger, who had no prior contact with Yngwie, allegedly overheard Malmsteen making derogatory comments about homosexuals and decided to show her disapproval by emptying the contents of her glass on the hefty axeman. A member of Yngwie's touring entourage, who was traveling with Malmsteen at the time, had a tape recorder running and managed to catch Yngwie's reaction on tape immediately after the guitarist was "assaulted" by the offended passenger. -courtesy blabbermouth.net

Or maybe she got it from this kid...

Bad day for the advocates of elementary school pot smoking today...

"There aren't any drugs in the house."

Yeah....right, she just got it from her local, neighborhood dealer???

Nothin' screams Foreign Relations like a McFalafel!

Ahhh, always trust McDonald's to be so diplomatic when the all-mighty dollar is involved....

EXTREME TECH SUPPORT!!!

"Strange hissing noise" was actually one of the reported symptoms, DUH!!!

If ya need more proof Creed sucks...

"You just hit me! I am calling the police!", WHAT A WUSS!!!

One reason I don't eat meat...

"Weird and wonderful wild animals have been a staple in Cambodian cooking ever since the dark days of the Khmer Rouge...", wouldn't that SCARE you away???

What's your "Prison Name"???

Mine is "Towelboy", EEK!!!

The sounds of sex...

'Tis a shame that the videos made for this couldn't be shown on EmpTV...

Think of all the wasted Pine Sol...

Pro Penis-Enlargement, anti-circumcision, I'm still on the fence with this one....

Placenta Photo

This is a picture of the placenta and amniotic sack turned inside out."

Germans engineer fastest go-cart, insist on calling IT a ‘car’

"Currently, the small prototype [see picture above] guzzles an astonishing 1.7 gallons in just over 400 miles. Now don’t let those numbers fool you, as this motorcar can reach speeds of up to 46 miles per hour and hit a quarter mile in only 27.3 seconds."

Twin Tubes

"The Twin Tubes -- round, tube-shaped buildings. Each building has tube slides encircling the towers to help people get out of the building without having to use elevators."

- I've seen drunk 3 years old draw better.

Proposal for new WTC

Keep your day job.

US withholds weapons data from inspectors

"The Bush administration has told United Nations inspectors that it will not provide them with intelligence information on suspected weapons sites in Iraq, as agreed in the UN resolution on inspections, until it examines the weapons declaration Baghdad has submitted."

- Withholding intelligence? What further proof does one need that the Dubya and his brown shirts are blowing smoke and simply want a war at all costs?

Driver Wanted

"You know the sort of conversation, it starts off quite innocently with "I've got a higher pain tolerance than you!" Soon it built up to a discussion and from there a bet was made, stating that I would not let a heavy vehicle drive over my hands, and like a fool I accepted the bet (goes to show drinking is not good for your health, lol). Anyway the bet is the easy part, the difficult part now is to get someone to help out."