View Kids Letters To God

I submitted one here under my name Reid and I didn't think it would immediately post! I'm so pleased that it did though. I also plugged a small miracle story here under the name of Buford that's actually an entry from my fake diary.

Bird Thief

A bird in Utah that ripped off a car wash machine of $4000 in quarters.

Youth smashed skull of girl, 6

"A teenager battered a six-year-old girl over the head with a heavy ashtray, breaking her skull in two places, because she could not play a computer game."

Ambulance Worker Fired for Doughnut Stop

"A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by a former ambulance driver who claimed he was wrongfully fired after stopping for doughnuts while transporting a patient to a hospital."

Man shot during robbery

A man who tried to rob a Greenfield gun shop at knifepoint Thursday afternoon was shot in the chest by the shop owner, police said.

Serious genius at work here eh?

Baby Sitter Faces Charges For Binding Toddler

"Sondra Giffin, 18, of Leesburg, is accused of duct-taping the ankles, wrists and mouth of a 22-month-old girl and then taking a picture of the child, WESH NewsChannel 2 reported.

"Giffin is friends with the girl's mother, and she told investigators she took the picture when she was baby-sitting the toddler a month ago, and that she meant no harm and just did it for fun."

"...did it for fun" - that's the scary part. Last time I checked - duct tape didn't feel good coming off the skin.

Puppets that Swallow

"Many of our puppets swallow. That's right they actually swallow objects."

City of Heroes

A massively multiplayer superhero video game. Looks pretty fun. Why do I still have a 56k again?

PUPPET HATS at Giant Steps!

What the fuck?! Hey dumbass - you have an orca on your head!

Other Murders the Manson Family was Planning

TOM JONES

Susan Atkins planned to force him to have sex with her at knife point and cut his throat at climax.

Sex Romp on the Beach

"Santoro, who is visiting friends in Painesville, and Reichel pleaded guilty to public indecency for having oral sex at Mentor Headlands State Park Beach. Cicconetti sentenced them to 22 days in jail but suspended 20 days on the condition they comply with the contrition. They must both complete two days of community service."

22 day sentence for the offense of oral sex? huh?

Nuclear plot suspects freed after mix-up

A source close to the investigation into the September 11 attacks said the men stopped in the Midwest - travelling in two groups of three in light-coloured cars - were of Middle Eastern appearance and were carrying Israeli passports.

As well as the pictures and descriptions of the nuclear plant and the pipeline, retractable knives similar to the so-called box cutters used by the September 11 hijackers were found in the cars.

Ok - even your most idiotic Barney Fife idiot would book these cats. Is it because Israelis don't fit our agenda for profiling? They aren't arab and this would confuse the War on Terror when we are pro-Israel? Mix-up? What kind of mix-up would there be concerning this?

Woman critical after gas oven fireball

"She was cleaning the floor with a rag just using kero and the fumes were ignited by the gas oven, which was on, and she copped the full force of the fireball," he said.

Maybe after she recovers she might want to think about getting her GED? Unbelievable stupidity.

Giraffe 'jumps to death after killing priest'

"You can never get into the mind of a giraffe," he said. "They are massive animals, it's not like taking a cow for a walk. Once a giraffe takes it in its head to do something, that's it."

Private Fertility for Lesbian Couples

"Imagine a place where you can be assured discretion...Imagine a place where there are no weirdo's or perverts answering your adverts for sperm donors..."

Voyeur gets women to bare breasts for satellite

"Four women have contacted police after being persuaded to stand topless in their windows or balconies so that a satellite could give them a mammogram."

Wow - gullible isn't a strong enough word.

Gator Ad Server

"In short, Gator sells advertising space on the plaintiffs' Web sites without (their) authorization and pockets the profits from such sales."

This company needs to have their homepage hacked hard-fucking-core.

Yesterdayland - fashion from the 90s

A huge list of 90's clothing with accompanying pictures.

Bumfighting video

"No matter how you slice it, even if the boys give $500,000 of the current video sales to charity, that leaves them (give or take) a cool $4.5 million, minus meager expenses."

Fuck - dudes are loaded from doing this video!

8veils

Ok - I'm with this guy up to and including the fourth veil. The fifth thru 8th veils I'm kinda lost on. I guess the dragons and time travel threw me off a bit.

"Ten percent of us will pierce the sixth veil where the dragons and lizards and aliens we thought were the fictional monsters of childhood literature are real."

Rocky Mountain Oysters

A supposed "shadow illusion" displaying a man's testicles on the cover of the Rocky Mountain News has been confirmed by the ball's owner.

"Lee had driven to Durango and, in an impressive piece of investigative work, found Finlay, who confirmed that it was indeed his right testicle displayed on the News's eye-opening cover. As proof, Finlay posed for a second picture -- this time displaying his left testicle, an act the hysterical Lee recounted over the air -- and took calls from listeners volunteering to help him rebuild."

Ricers

Funny page ripping on Ricers.

Fact Sheet on the History of "In God We Trust"

"The motto IN GOD WE TRUST was placed on United States coins largely because of the increased religious sentiment existing during the Civil War."

"...the words GOD, LIBERTY, LAW. This would make a beautiful coin, to which no possible citizen could object. This would relieve us from the ignominy of heathenism."

Yeah - my faith was lacking - until I saw the back of a 20 dollar bill. Then wham fucking bam, I wasn't a heathen anymore and all of a sudden I was a god-fearing man who gave 1/4 of my monthly income to the tax-free organized church. Are people really this stupid?

Congress condemn decision on pledge

As usual - Christians flip out when one of their "recruitment" techniques is threatened. I used to do the Pledge of Allegiance growing up and it was utterately meaningless - a memory exercise. Life experiences make you who you are. It's like having a STOP RACISM bumper sticker - you're either racist or not and a bumper sticker isn't gonna change shit.

The word "atheist" is used to negatively label a person in this article by the feebled brained Senate President Pro Tem Robert Byrd. Typically bible thumping idiots try to use the word Atheist like a curse word - or allude to the delusionary idea that if atheists don't believe in god, they must not believe in anything at all. Sorry, they believe in intelligence.

If you're truly personally religious - you don't need a stupid church, dollar bills and/or the pledge of allegiance to remind you of that. If you do - you must not have the "faith" you so claim to possess. Pretty simple to understand for any person of reasonable intelligence or even an atheist.

AirBoard in Action!

A personal hovercraft. Move over Segway? Why doesn't everyone just get Vespa's or Lambretta's? Jeez - the solution for cheap economical driving has been around for many years people.

Fan from hell creates a stir at Cher concert

"I've Got You, Babe" took on new meaning at Monday night's Cher concert when a 400-pound, intoxicated, foul-mouthed female fan refused to vacate a seat and had to be forcibly removed.

Witnesses said the woman was morbidly obese, so large that she could not fit into her seat but had to sit on several armrests."

Association of Flaming Ford Owners

If you own a Ford, Lincoln or Mercury vehicle manufactured in the United States between 1983 and 1993, you are likely to own a vehicle that contains an ignition switch which is known to cause spontaneous vehicle fires.

Search the database here!

Fembots on film

List of movies and tv shows with female robots/cyborgs in them.

Digital characters learn to move

"NaturalMotion has created computer characters that use artificial intelligence to learn how to produce their own body motion.

Ironically, the researchers do not fully understand why their process works.

"We let evolution do the job and look at it afterwards. We don't know why it works, but it works," admitted Mr Reil.

Bizarre Record Covers

A collection of old album covers with horrible art, christians with shitty hair, oompa bands and everything in between!

Parents Restrain Daughter to Keep Her from Dating Married Man

The parents of a 21-year-old woman allegedly chained their daughter spread-eagle on her bed so she wouldn't go out with her married boyfriend.

Know Your Place! Shut Your Face!

A Message from the Ministry of Homeland Security. These are remixed Propaganda Posters. WARNING: POSTERS CONTAIN SATIRE!

Some brilliant work here. Bravo!

The New World Trade Center 2002

A web site devoted to the American disease known as "Big Dick Syndrome".

Rampaging Elephant Kills 12

Sweet - I love Elephant attack stories! Crush them like a jelly bean!

Man's attempt at airport joke brings no fun

''Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry an item on this flight?'' asked the ticket agent. ''Have any of the items you are traveling with been out of your immediate control since the time you packed them?''

So, he said: ''What do you mean? Like one of those ticking cardboard boxes?'' Thus, on June 30, 2001, began an expensive and embarrassing legal odyssey.

Ok - here's a couple stupid quotes:

"It's hard to empathize with Hastings's plight." -It's easy to empathize - those questions are a fucking joke as far as security is concerned and everyone knows that.

''The reason is simple - history has shown that criminals and terrorists will use unwitting passengers to carry bombs or other dangerous items on board aircraft, either by tricking passengers into carrying packages or by simply slipping items into passengers' unwatched bags,'' according to an FAA statement. -If they were UNWITTING - wouldn't they answer the questions NO and NO in which case they'd get by anyway? Not quite the cryptic riddle there.

Ball Illusion

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS hanging out of the fire victim's pants. "It's a shadow of the man's finger and the palm of his hand," says Janet Reeves, director of photography at the Rocky Mountain News. "We blew the picture up really big to make sure that's what it was."

The Cure of Insomnia

This film is basically an experiment designed to reprogram biological clocks for insomniacs so they can sleep again. L.D. Groban reads his own poem during the span of about four days, which is interspliced with stock footage of heavy-metal videos and x-rated footage.

This is the longest movie ever made at a total running time of 85 hours. It premiered in its entirety at The School Of The Art Institute in Chicago, Illinois from 31 January to 3 February 1987 in one continuous showing.

Superfriends

The Super Friends somehow stayed alive for 10 years by hiring people who could talk to fish, match a cape to their underwear, and turn into a bucket of water.

Microwavable Hot Cock

"The World's first microwavable dong! Just place in the microwave for up to 20 seconds and experience erotic heat!"

Heroic Family Dog Drags Problem Child Back into Burning Building

"Witnesses described the boy's screams as typically obnoxious. "But actual death shut Billy's mouth like no beating ever could," his thankful mother said."

Kat is God!!!

The Great Kat is the world's FASTEST SHRED/CLASSICAL guitarist/violinist!!

The Great Kat is the only composer taking authentic Classical Music scores (Vivaldi, Beethoven, Bach, Wagner) and rearranging, editing, and reorchestrating them with Speed Shred Metal.

Panty Color Changer

Not sure on what the point of this is cause it's a Japanese web site. Change the panties to web safe colors?

I Vomit

"And what's this moisture between my thighs? Did I puke so hard I pissed myself? No, it's sexual juice - so much that it's dripping down my legs! I'm so unbearably aroused; if only *HE* were here to satisfy me!"

Emergency Building Escape Parachute System

"The EscapeChute is our emergency parachute system that has been specifically developed for low altitude exit and deployment. A typical scenario for its use might be by high-rise tenants in the event of fire or earthquake."

Uncle Joes Abortion Clinic

"If you've got a bun in the oven, let me help you out! I'll remove the bun, slice it up, toast it and have it for breakfast, yummo!"

Disturbing Auctions - Big Hands Baby

What I wouldn't give to have this in my apartment!

Candy you ate as a kid

Order some old school candy here!

Riddle of the spores

Whatever happened to the anthrax investigation? Only a handful of people fit the description. Rosenberg has told the internet magazine Salon.com that three senior scientists have identified the same man - a former USAMRIID scientist - as the likely suspect.

Four months after the investigation began, the FBI had not bothered to find out who had been working in the places from which the anthrax must have come.

Skippy Self Amplified Record Player

"This is among a sub-category I call "self-amplified" units. It is playable without any thing else except its own apparatus.This unit required the use of a pencil to provide the spin and a small cardboard horn with which an elastic band helped keep its shape."

The ultimate DJ tool!

List of the nation's sweatiest cities

The #1 sweatiest city is San Antonio, TX.

Meg A. Byte

Funny flash movie about software piracy. If only my burner shot out discs as quickly as the cd burner in this. Chick is using a 500x speed burner apparently.

Who's We Design Studios

Awesome web design web page. Click on the Eye Candy link.

Dog in a Coat

Weekly dogs in coats. Beagles in bomber jackets - etc. Flash movie.

Condit Aides Got Big Raises

"Neither Lynch nor Dayton returned phone calls seeking comment on their salaries or Mullen’s salary. But one unidentified Condit staffer said "common sense" should indicate that "hard work, commitment and dedication" resulted in the pay bumps."

"According to public records, Mullen made about $43,000 in 1999, and her annual salary for 2000 increased to about $57,000 — but thanks to tremendous leaps in pay she began receiving around the time the Levy controversy exploded, her annual salary for 2001 jumped to about $99,000."

That's some goddamn hard work she was doing to get such a raise?!

Robotic Fly Project Takes Off

"A joint military and university research project to develop a wee winged robot modeled after a housefly got a major lift recently as scientists invented the tiny mechanical wings necessary to give the device flight."

They says it's for search and rescue. Probably more like violating rights and spying when it becomes a reality.

RoboCup Official Site

"The ultimate goal of the RoboCup project is By 2050, develop a team of fully autonomous humanoid robots that can win against the human world champion team in soccer."

America’s richest community

In Rancho Santa Fe, Calif., the average income is $130,000.

The community does have one claim to infamy — it was in a mansion here five years ago that 39 people committed suicide as part of the Heaven’s Gate cult.

Androids take the field in RoboCup

"The rules aren’t much different from human soccer. The robots scuttle along a carpeted pitch and shove a ball into a goal. An aggressive push may draw a yellow card. Missing elements include the offside rule and robot hooligans."