Barbara Olson's "Phone Call" From Flight 77

A valid dissection of the story behind conversative commentator Barbara Olson's last phone call.

President Ronald Reagan Doll

"You don't have to be a Republican to love "The Great Communicator," our fortieth president."

- You don't have to be a Republican, just an idiot. Besides the legacy of covert operations, sleeping during meetings and the irony of naming an airport after this muppet when he fired all the air traffic controllers back in the 80's - this doll costs $599.00 to further fleece the american public out of more cash then Reagan himself did during his 8 years.

This really, REALLY! stank

All of my house mates and I were convinced that there was a rotting mouse either under the floor boards or in the wall. Well I say all my house mates except for James William Ascroft-Leigh, who suggested the smell was coming from my computer. I laughed and called him a fool, claiming that the computer surley wouldn't work with a dead mouse in it...

Xbox Idiots

A blogger that I, he who is behind Garbage House, started with some friends at work to chronicle the best of the idiots that call in for tech support. Considering that about 99% of the people that call in are borderline vegetables, there's plenty of material to work with.

Hairy Back Photo Gallery

Some of the hairiest backs you'll ever see or ever want to see.

Nobody saw him for a week

"I am a police officer and responded to a call of a horrible odor in an apartment building (that and nobody saw the occupant for a week). Needless to say it was well over 90 degrees that week, and the flies on the windows were thick."

Staff cry poetic injustice as singing Ashcroft introduces patriot games

In January, a pair of 12ft statues in the atrium of a justice department building were covered by a blue curtain, on orders from Mr Ashcroft's office because the female figure Spirit of Justice was bare-breasted, and the body of her male partner, Majesty of Law, was not sufficiently covered by his toga.

- What do you expect from a previous Asshole of the Week winner?

Media Lied About 9-11 Conspirator

Contrary to what virtually every single major media outlet in America reported time and time again, the alleged “20th hijacker,” Zacarias Mossaoui, never told instructors at his Minnesota flight school that he only wanted to learn how to fly a super-liner and not how to land one.

- TURN OFF THE CNN (propaganda network) people!

Rumsfeld baffles press with 'unknown unknowns'.

"There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns - that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know but there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don't know," Mr Rumsfeld said.

- Obviously taking after the idiocy of his boss.

Au Revoir Les Inmates

What do convicts do on Death Row? Evidently, they are not wiling away the years composing their last words. Few of us are lucky enough to have the opportunity to immortalize our final utterances, but when these inmates were asked if they had any last words before being executed, they didn't exactly produce catchphrase material.

Judge approves request to pay Enron retention bonuses

An Enron Corp. plan to dole out as much as $140 million in retention bonuses and severance to the 1,700 employees working for the bankrupt company was approved by a judge Tuesday.

He also agreed, to at the urging of creditors and the Securities and Exchange Commission, to stipulate that the recipients cannot be defendants in lawsuits related to the energy trader's collapse or named as wrongful actors in the Powers report -- the internal Enron probe that partially blamed the company's downfall on its executives, board of directors, auditors and others.

- File this under WHAT THE FUCK?

Dee Dee Ramone found dead - June 6, 2002

Dee Dee Ramone, a founding member of the pioneer punk band the Ramones, was found dead of a possible drug overdose in his Hollywood home, the coroner's office said Thursday. He was 50.

He wanted to be rap performer Dee Dee King after quitting from Ramones

Death from electrocution during autoerotic practice

A plausible reconstruction of the accident involves attachment of one electrode to the anus and accidental touching of the other electrode with hand and chest when attempting to attach it to the penis. Death was caused by myocardial fibrillation.

Coffee Enema and Enema Coffee

One of the comments we've heard is "Hey this stuff tastes horrible" We'll your absolutely right it does taste horrible, but your not suppose to drink this blend are you ;) . It has been blended and roasted solely for enema use and as far as that goes no other coffee can surpass it.

Innocent Man Victim Of Anti-Arab Fear

Let's peg the crime on a guy who appears to look Arab. Yeah - that way we can wrap this case up nice and tidy. Stupid fucks - stories like this sicken me to the core.

Man pushes 16-ton tram using his Adam's apple

It was the martial arts expert's third attempt this year and comes a year after a Hungarian died doing the same challenge.

Husband's sperm kills woman

Cristina Dumitru's husband, Grigore, said: "It all started a year ago when we married. She was choking and feeling very sick after we had sex without using condoms. This last time was even worse and I took her to the hospital but she died very soon."

The Deadly Follies of Stick Figure Warning-Man and Family

"You know those warning signs you always see with the stick man falling down or being crushed or otherwise incurring bodily harm? That's me. I posed for those pictures."

John Ashcroft (former Asshole of the Week winner) sings

U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft ended a speech at a Charlotte, North Carolina seminary with a rousing rendition of a song he wrote called 'Let The Eagles Soar'

Humping Dog

"For every 10,000 humps, my dog will hump something else in my home because he is bored. Who knows what he will hump next? The broom? The photo album? He is a humping like dog!"

Classical Tribute to The Simpsons

"Influenced by the deep emotional messages he had seen on the show, composer Paul Crabtree of San Francisco, California, sat down and composed five dramatic works with lyrics originally uttered by Simpsons characters."

Jesus Sports Statues

Love the hockey one at the bottom of the page but there's only two teams in hockey. "Back the fuck off Jesus - I thought you were just gonna ref this bitch!"

Amorous dolphin targeting swimmers

"When dolphins get sexually excited, they try to isolate a swimmer, normally female. They do this by circling around the individual and gradually move them away from the beach, boat or crowd of people."

- How does one recover mentally after being raped by a dolphin? Or what if YOU'RE horny and the dolphin ISN'T? Check out Dolphin Sex for some tips.

Welcome to ElfPanties.Com!

"Welcome to ElfPanties.Com, the only one-stop shop on the web for magically worn panties at human prices. Why elf panties? Sure, you could procure a pair of human panties, but that is so totally five minutes ago. Hello? Plus, then you'd be just like every other Joe Schmoe on eBay."

Pillsbury Pukeboy: punch the doughboy in the stomach

Flash movie - punch that giggling fuck where it counts!

BBC forces viewers to record its new sitcom

"The BBC was accused yesterday of Orwellian tactics after digital video machines in thousands of homes were switched on remotely to record Caroline Aherne's new sitcom Dossa and Joe.

Many of the 50,000 households that own TiVo machines awoke on Friday to discover that the 30-minute programme had been downloaded on to their recorders without having asked for it."