How to cook a woman!

NOT work safe!

Personal Alcohol Detector

Find out how ripped you are for shits and giggles.

Howstuffworks "Stuffatorium"

A BUTTLOAD of interesting products with links to the corresponding web sites.

Super wheelchair tackles stairs

"A hi-tech wheelchair will be able to climb stairs, as well as lifting its user to reach high shelves."

Dead Dwarf Hood Ornament

Courtesy of the Weekly World News!

Investigators seize ECC computer hard drives, consider possible terrorist link

"Someone had reported that three men who appeared to be of Middle Eastern descent had been whispering in the library while using the computer terminals to access Islamic materials, she said."

Holy fuck - whispering in a library? Middle Eastern men reading Islamic material? That is WAYYYY too bizarre of behaviour!

Teacher slaps boys over schoolgirl sex slurs

"Board officials said the teacher overheard the boys making lewd remarks to schoolgirls on May 31 and dragged them aside. He told them what they had said was inappropriate and slapped each of the boys at least 20 times to the face."

Gee, slapping the kids - that's FAR more appropriate.

Worldandnation: Military now fast way to be a citizen

Starship Troopers anyone? Guaranteed Citizenship - support the American gov't facists! Want to know more?

TRIFECTA!

Dubya uses this word (that he obviously learned 3 minutes before he used it originally) out of context which isn't too surprising consider his lack of brainpower. The word means betting on the first 3 finishers of a race - IN ORDER. Funny cause he says his line about "...a national emergency, a war and recession..." in mixed order every time he says his buzz word "TRIFECTA!". So basically he's saying "I'm an idiot" everytime he says that word and everyone is apparently laughing at the fact.

Nissan Auto vs Nissan Computer Corp.

Nissan auto sues Uzi Nissan who bought the domain www.nissan.com in 1994. On March 17, 1996, they registered the domain name nissan.net, and began offering Internet services, including dial-up connections and direct data connections to business.

Almost four years later, legal action was instituted by Nissan Motor seeking $10,000,000 and to restrain me from the use of my family name for business purposes on the Internet.

Who will win? The irrational nazi-esque auto corporation with bottomless pockets or the legitimate businessman who uses his family name as his business? In America - the corporation.

Alanis.net domain name

Another celebrity (Alanis Morissette) trying to bully their way into someone elses business. She already has her own domain (alanis.com) name but thinks that she should rule the name "alanis" with an iron fist apparently. I hope alanis.net fucks her in the ass.

Lynne Cheney's Primer

'T' is for Tolerance. 'N' is for Native Americans. Apparently Lynne doesn't see the hypocrisy in her children's book alphabet - which is perhaps why she is writing at a children's book level. 'D' is for Dumbfuck.

Upside-Down Flag Angers Veterans

If you think Ashcroft is a Nazi and the 9/11 incident is the modern day equivalent of the burning of the Reichstag and the powers given to Hitler thereafter - fly that flag upside down!

They Didn't Attack Switzerland

"Not a week goes by now without another prediction of terrorist attack. The head of Homeland Security, the head of the FBI, and even Chancellor Palpatine himself in his unique syntax have all assured us that further destructive attacks are "inevitable".

How did the US gain its monopoly position as the only nation deserving of terrorist retribution? What about England, France, Germany, Sweden, Holland, Denmark, Japan, Australia, or... Switzerland?"

America - land of the free strip searches

"The daughters of an 80-year-old great-grandmother said Tuesday that their mother was strip-searched at Gerald R. Ford International Airport after her knee replacement set off metal detectors."

Happy National Blowin' Shit Up Day!

Fuck all those dorks with with American flags and stupid patriotic speeches. Fuck the 200th government warning about potential terrorist attacks. This day is EXCLUSIVELY about blowing shit up. If you think it's not, blow yourself up!

School 'pledge' protest goes before court

"A federal appeals court heard arguments Friday on whether an Alabama school system had the right to discipline a student who stood silently with his fist raised rather than recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

The student, Michael Holloman, a high school senior from Parrish, Ala., who has since graduated, was spanked three times with a wooden paddle and given a written reprimand."

Morons.org - Slower traffic keep right

Site devoted to the idiocy of human existence.

Spider In Woman's Ear

"A woman went to her doctor complaining of headaches - and was told there was a spider living her ear."

My Gay Boyfriend by Tristan Taormino

"I let go of his lack of interest in old-school gayness because I thought, "I'll be getting all the anal sex I could ever want!" And not nice, well-paced anal sex, but throw-'em-down-on-the-bed-and-fuck-'em-like-you-mean-it anal sex. (Clearly, I had watched way too much gay porn.) But his first instinct was not to throw me down on the bed and fuck my ass with unimaginable aggression and fury. I begged him to fuck me in the ass, and he always replied, "I can do that with the boys; your pussy is what I want because that's the rare treat."

The Muppet Show Star Wars - 1980 w/ Download!

I watched this last nite on video tape. Goddamn R2D2 dancing?!! The Muppets rule!

Three passengers of Amphicar rescued from river

I love these cars - interesting to see one in the news regardless of the occassion.

Hantricks- Watch, Learn, Master

I've always wanted to be able to do the pencil spinning trick. Now there's a tutorial for it finally! Shall learn on my lunch break.

Final Solutions Consulting

I wonder how many Jewish clients these people have?

I had sex with a Survivor!

Some crazy chick who porked Greg Buis from Survivor because she met him at a party and he reminded her of her first true love, Bo Duke. Psychotic at best.

Latex Bondage Beds

They look like Han Solo when he was frozen in carbon.

Project Cryo

A computer mouse cryogenic chamber for a lego!

Who do I have to blow to send a letter?

"The cost of mailing a standard letter domestically increases 3 cents this Sunday to 37 cents. Sending a postcard will rise 2 cents to 23 cents."

Mountaineer Saved by the Bell

"A hiker is stranded in South America's Andes mountains when a blizzard begins. He reaches into his backpack for his cell phone -- only to find his prepaid minutes are up."