Farm worker killed when he falls into hay chopper

"Jose Federico Sanchez Guerro was working at the machine, which chops hay bales into 2-inch chunks for cow feed, at Smith Dairy on Wednesday morning when the accident occurred."

- Sweet!

'Nigerian witch steals man's penis'

Weird.

Cary Authorities Remove 68 Cats From Home; Owners Charged With Animal Cruelty

A garbage house.

Top Ten New Copyright Crimes

Funny hypothetical copyright laws.

Local CEO wins online bid to own exclusive scooter

"Wayne Kinsey, is apt to come zipping down the hallway on his new $160,100 toy, a much-heralded scooter known variably as IT, Ginger or now, officially, Segway."

- Why don't you buy a 4 million dollar blowjob downtown while you're at it?

US visa hitch may force Iraqi team to return

The U.S. will do whatever it takes to get this war against Iraq started - including denying visas to Iraqi Foreign Minister Naji Sabri who is supposed to appear at the UN regarding complying with UN inspections in order to lift sanctions. U.S. says no - that shit don't matter - we just want the oil. Once again - our tax dollars at work.

10 years of Jay Leno makes one weak

Funny article ripping Jay Leno to shreds.

Eulogy/Eulogies for death of mother & father

Buy a ready done eulogy for your mom. Jesus - what loser would buy this? Maybe if your mom was some cunt from hell I could see buying a eulogy for her but otherwise...

The Replacements - About the Band

Huh? The Replacements? Last time I checked they were a bunch of rocking drunks from Minneapolis - not a bunch of homo limeys who look like they spend their free time watching Gidget movies on the Superstation.

toronto.com >Fourth Annual Masturbate-A-Thon

Ok, maybe Canada isn't THAT bad!!!

Palestinian shot dead inside Nativity Church

The few times I went to church when I was young - I wished a sniper had shredded my head to relieve my boredom.

Will the Real Paranoids Please Raise Their Hands?

Excellent article on what 'conspiracies' really are and how patriots and supporters of the state blindly follow.

Denver Post.com - Boy accused of soliciting classmate to kill aunt

"A 15-year-old boy who "hated his aunt" offered a classmate $1,000 and a Sony PlayStation to kill her, according to the Arapahoe County Sheriff's Office."

- Not even a PS2? Or an Xbox? Fuck dude - up the ante a bit. Kill your niece for a Colecovision?

Why Do Porn Actors Have To Use Such Foul Language?

Fucking funniest Onion article I've read in a while.

La. Woman Kills Family Members

"A woman shot and killed her husband, sister and mother before she turned the gun on herself, leaving a note on the front door that read: "Call 911. Door is unlocked. We are all dead.

The note concluded by saying, "Thank you for your love and care."

Pope reported set to give Law Vatican posting

Cardinal Law to get promotion. As if further proof that organized religion is a complete sham was needed.

DVD Players Compatibility List

Good database of which DVD players will play dvd-r's, cd'rs, mp3's and more. Good resource.

Louvre à la Simpson

Pictures of all the cast members. Dan Castellaneta (Homer's voice) looks absolutely NOTHING like I would have imagined.

Kittens T-Shirt

Worst collection of Tshirts EVER!!!!!!

MouseTick Ninja

"Now witness the epic battle between MouseTick Ninja and his arch enemy, who is so "arch" that even his name is not known! It is sure to be a tense battle!"

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Love Songs

I can only imagine that playing this album would be akin to listening to cats fucking. Pure torture.

Foreigners to be offered dog meat juice at World Cup

Ahhhhhhhhh....that hit's the spot!

STUPID FUCKING THINGS CUSTOMERS DO AT XBOX

I work doing tech support for Xbox unfortunately. The job sucks incredible ass and I'm presently looking for a new job. The customers that call in are Springer fodder and for the most part all i want to do is prop their mouth open on the curb and jump on their head. Anyway, here is my list of some of the idiotic things the typical Xbox owner calls in saying.